My Kids

J and E are my kids.  J is almost 3, and E is 4.  We have another blessing on the way, but I gotta tell you, the two we have now are just about the two most special little people you'd ever want to meet.  J has big, and I mean white-tailed deer big, brown thoughtful eyes.  E loves to ask total strangers if they would like a hug.  What makes this even more adorable is that she always picks the roughest, toughest, rootinest, tootinest goateed guy in the room.  The guy who looks like he's allergic to affection.  They both put me in the best place imaginable and although I worry about the things dads tend to worry about, they keep me focused on family over everything else.  I have leveled off in terms of my job and maybe one day I will aspire to greater career achievements, but for now I cannot imagine opting for more work and more pay, for less time with them.  This sometimes makes me wonder if I am doing the appropriate "dad" thing.  Maybe dads are supposed to be go-getters and make as much money as possible, spend time with kids when possible, but leave most real parenting to mom.  I have always valued time over money, but I wonder if I shouldn't question that sometimes...I know I love them with all I have and will do whatever it takes to give them the best childhood and start possible...

A-Game Parenting

I was having a conversation a while back over e-mail with a very good friend who, like me, has two children under 5 years old.  Unlike me, he also has a daughter in 6th grade from his wife's previous marriage.  We were discussing how hard it is to be good dads and he made the statement, "It seems like I need to have my A-game every day."  The statement has stuck with me since.  I have adopted it as a mantra and something I go back to when I am having my doubts.  I remind myself how important it is to my family as a whole to bring my A-game every day.  Since this conversation, I feel like I mostly have had A days, with a few B's and an occasional C thrown in.  It is vital to the success of my family and my marriage that I give it my best effort every day.  This doesn't mean in a false enthusiasm in a "rah rah" sense, but a genuine, clear-thinking, caring, family-first m.o.  I continuously go back to the words of others who tell me how fast the time goes and I refuse to blink and have the game be over without having given it my all.  There is one thing I've found that is the #1 absolute most important A-game ingredient.  Without it, it is very difficult to have the focus necessary for the challenges each day presents.  It's so simple, yet so effective.  A good night's sleep.  7-8 hours, and bam, you can do anything!  Some of the greatest minds of our time were voracious sleepers.  Thomas Edison, Benjamin Franklin and Mark Twain all sung the praises of sleep and naps.  So dad, turn off Sportscenter and get your highlights on your drive to work in the morning and go to bed!  Give it a week and you will see a huge difference in your mood, energy and efficiency.

The Title

     My parents raised 5 kids through some tough times.  The 1970's recessions, gas shortages, the Cold War, etc.  Usually mom took a job as a bookkeeper of some sort and dad always worked blue-collar jobs to make ends meet.  He worked in lumber yards and oil refineries.  He repaired organs, not the human kind.  The one big chance he took was throwing everything he had into a Porsche/Volkswagen repair garage with my uncle.  It turned out my uncle was a bit of a scheister and took my dad to the cleaners financially.
     As a kid, I lived in 12 different houses by the time I graduated high school.  I went to 5 different elementary schools alone.  Through all of this there were times when we received small amounts of government assistance for brief periods such as food stamps and the items that make the title of this blog.  All 5 of us children never knew how close we were to poverty because mom and dad always made sure our needs were met, our clothes clean, and our hair combed.  I take great pride in my family and childhood and, in my teen years, started to realize how different and special my upbringing was as I was surrounded by middle to upper-middle class friends who had lived in one house their whole life.  How boring!  I have had just about every culture or race as a neighbor at some point in my life.  As a kid, I watched Telemundo with my friend Ernesto and pretended I knew when to laugh.  I watched with curiosity as an african-american neighbor swam in his pool with a shower cap on.  I have eaten, played, and sometimes fought with people from every level of society.  I don't think too many people can say that.  I cannot imagine how stressful it was for my parents to constantly look for steady, good-paying work.  Really, the only time I remember lamenting our plight was seeing my mom cry when she could not afford basketball shoes for one of my brothers.  That stung.
     Which leads me to a story...When I was in high school, I had my shoes stolen from my locker in 9th grade.  Nike Air Force 3's.  I was angry for weeks, I left an angry note on my locker for the perp.  I stared unblinkingly at people's feet in the hallway between classes.  My friends wanted me to just let it go, but those shoes were one thing I had that made me just as good as my more well-to-do teammates, and bam, stolen my some punk.            If there were some way of finding out who that thief was today, I think I would pay him a visit, explain the situation, bid him farewell, and then turn and pivot and punch him in the mouth like my dad probably should have done to my uncle way back in 1980.

Growing up Aisthorpe

Feels odd to be doing this, but here goes...I have lots of thoughts that I feel would be best sorted out through writing, no surprise since I majored in English in college.  "Writers need to write" as one of my old professors used to say.  Most of my thoughts will center around trying to be a great dad and husband with reflections of my own childhood thrown in.  As an educator, avid fisherman and runner I expect to have ideas to document on those as well.  Currently, Michelle (my wife) and I are expecting our third child to join our 4 and 2 year old.  We are very excited, and I look forward to meeting him or her in March.  One thing I am going to try to avoid is being political in my postings.  The idea is to focus on family and my ultimate goal is to find my voice as a writer and a dad.